It has been brought to my attention that I have committed the most egregious of internet offenses – that of Posting Photographs Without Permission.
I am guilty as charged. I have removed the offending articles. And I wish to apologise whole-heartedly to all those who were injured by my thoughtless and insensitive actions. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.
How could I have been guilty of such a vile and inexcusable error? I who myself have been the victim of online blackmail at the petty, vindictive hands of a jilted ex-lover. What kind of low-living scum would do this, you might ask? Well, I could tell you… but I would never do that.
No! Were my name to be dragged through the mud, and demeaning photos of me posted all over the interwebs, I should rejoice in the knowledge that I would NOT retaliate, that I would never stoop so low, that there is still some vestige of honour, and decency, in this world, even if I am its final bastion!
And so it pains me most bitterly to think that I could ever even inadvertently commit, myself, so gross and rank a betrayal of trust. Abject shame has driven me to issue this public apology, and not – absolutely not – some sort of covert coercion. To prove my sincerity, I shall enact my penance – a public self-flagellation at the place Vendome – on the ides of April. And that, I hope, will lay this wretched ghost to rest.